Wednesday, June 9, 2010

White People Point! (I Heart the World Cup)

Thought you'd all be pleased to know I just scored a HUGE white people point. Did I finally get those bangs, you might ask? Alas, no.

I LOOOOOVE the World Cup. Do I know more than two players? No. Have I watched a full soccer game since the last World Cup? Of course not!

But does that REALLY matter? How can it, considering I have the following things going for me?

1. I tell EVERYONE how excited I am for the World Cup.

2. I fully plan on sporting my Chelsea jersey as often as possible starting this weekend. (Obviously, I'll be wearing my Sambas as well.)

3. Hamm Family photo albums, circa 1994, fully document my love for the World Cup at a young age, as there are at LEAST five photos of young Alison, sporting World Cup hat, World Cup t-shirt, Umbro shorts, and Adidas soccer shoes. I also still own a World Cup 1994 mug. I RULE!

3. After I tell everyone how excited I am for this World Cup, I then explain how I was in Rome when Italy won the World Cup in 2006. (SCORE! This also gives me the golden white person opportunity to discuss studying abroad, traveling, and being the only white person around, which happen to be some of my favorite things!)

4. And then there's this:

It’s also worth noting the amazing interest shown by white women in the World Cup. While they generally find most professional sporting events to be boring, the atmosphere at a World Cup match is much more amenable. Mostly because they don’t have to drink light beer and there is a good chance that they might meet a European man, or, at least someone who might be planning a trip there. This is far superior to a hockey game where, at best, they might meet a Canadian. It goes without saying that for white women, the World Cup can’t come soon enough.

For more on my awesomeness as a white person, please read this. And this. Oh, and this.

I probably don't even need to tell you who I'm cheering for, do I? (Hint: It's not the US of A. Uggh.)

Who's ready for some football?


  1. HA...that is fantastic. It's almost like your playing white person bingo and you were able to fill in a corner spot.

  2. Can NOT cheer for England in group play. Subtract (or add?) a million white people points for not cheering for your home country. Supporting your country's team on the world stage is a defining characteristic of the World Cup. U.S. may be the only country in the world where fans make a decision about what team to cheer for in the world cup. Yeesh...

  3. Team USA is way hotter than England - in physical attractiveness, popularity and soccer skillz. Or wait...are you cheering for Ghana?! :)

  4. From now on, I'm just going game-by-game and picking what team to root for based on which one has the most babes.

    (resisting the urge to address the Ghana joke ... resisting)