I’m an adult again!

Today marked Day 2 of my internship at Imagination, and even though I am most likely going to have no social life for the next three months, it is already worth it. It’s amazing how much more of a sense of self-worth and purpose I get from having my own desk (equipped with a Mac and phone!) as opposed to, you know, carrying my tray of beers across the bar. But really, any job that doesn’t require refilling ketchup bottles and asking “chips, fries, or veggies?” is pretty appealing at this point. I am, of course, quite grateful that I still have said job, because although I get my own Mac, phone, and new found sense of purpose at my internship, I don’t get a paycheck. Hence, the lack of social life for the next few months: my schedule will be intern, wait tables, intern, wait tables.

But the experience will make it worth it. More importantly, thanks to my unpaid internship, I am now officially the best white person EVER:

“White people view the internship as their foot into the door to such high-profile low-paying career fields as journalism, film, politics, art, non-profits, and anything associated with a museum. Any white person who takes an internship outside of these industries is either the wrong type of white person or a law student. There are no exceptions.”

Next time you talk to me, please make sure to tell me “I earned it.” I won’t get the joke. I’ll be too busy listening to Bob Marley, being offended, correcting your grammar (you bet your ass I use an Oxford comma!), and thinking about, but not actually watching, soccer. (I’ll be the white girl wishing I had bangs, wearing a scarf, eating hummus, and drinking a microbrew.)

I could keep going. Did I mention I started listening to Bob Marley in sixth grade?

You might now be thinking, “Who gives a fuck about an Oxford comma?”: