“Break my legs so I won’t walk to you/Cut my tongue so I can’t talk to you/Burn my skin so I can’t feel you/Stab my eyes so I can’t see”
Fuck, that sounds outrageous just to read it, doesn’t it? Not so when Sharon Van Etten sings — no, wails — these lyrics in her new song “Your Love is Killing Me,” the most recent single she’s shared off her forthcoming album, Are We There.
I didn’t think she’d be able to produce an even swifter kick in the gut than she did with “Serpents,” from her last album Tramp, but I’ll be damned with this one. I'll. Be. Damned. Before we get to the requests for leg-breaking, tongue-cutting, skin-burning, and eye-stabbing, she begins the song:
"it’s understood
you’ll be a man
by the time I see you
we’ve been through
better days
and you’ve tasted all my pain"
At least, I think that’s what she’s singing. With each listen — and I’ve listened to it maybe 10 times in the last several hours — I keep straining toward my speakers, trying to catch every syllable through all the emotions she’s managing to convey with her voice. I mean, her voice: just listen to how it bends and turns and wrecks you in this song. No wonder I’m having a hard time understanding things like:
"try to tell you this when I’m sober
how I feel about loving you
try to remember all the turn of events"
and later:
"You love me as you torture me."
I absolutely cannot wait to hear her perform this live. Whenever that may be, I hope I’m just a little wine-drunk, enough not to care if my knees buckle and I choke back a sob or two.
I don’t know when that will be, but as Owen Pallett wrote in his The Talkhouse review on the new Tori Amos album: “In the meantime, I’m a trembling mess.”
Sorry to get a little out of order there, but being a "trembling mess" described it all too well. But this leads me to the next song I’d like to write about, the other new song that has me hitting replay and feeling in utter awe about the badassery of my favorite female musicians.
Yes, it's by the one, the only: Tori Amos. She’s just released her 14th album, and boy, are people talking about her. Over at NPR, one take wasn’t enough, so they gave 10. (It’s amazing. Read it.) And, as I mentioned, Owen Pallett has written a rather incredible piece on his fandom experience with Tori Amos, which I identified with on many levels.
My complete experience with loving Tori deserves a standalone written ode, though, so I’d like to focus on this one particular track from Unrepentant Geraldines. It’s called “Promise” and I’d really love it if everyone would listen to it, now:
You’ll notice that this isn’t Tori alone on the vocals: her daughter, Tash, sings with her on this, this utterly gorgeous “mother-daughter vow” — as Pallett describes, “their voices joining together like ivy and brick; it is devastating.”
“Where the sun shines/ I will be there/ You are the light/ That follows you everywhere”
“Will you look for me?”
“I will rescue you”
Devastating. Well, Ann Powers at NPR might describe it as an "alternately intimate and trivial mother-daughter exchange," and maybe that's also so, and maybe that's why I find it so devastating.
It, like "Your Love is Killing Me" is a song I don't want to end, but when it does it's almost a relief, because I can take a deep breath and just think about how beautiful it is. Even the parts that are painful.
Showing posts with label sharon van etten. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sharon van etten. Show all posts
Wednesday, May 14, 2014
Monday, April 21, 2014
Monday Mix Tapes: A Gunshot, A Breakdown, An Interlude
My main squeeze Lykke Li has a new album, I Never Learn, coming out May 5th, and of course I am over the moon about all of the singles she's released thus far. (Listen to "Love Me Like I'm Not Made of Stone" and "No Rest for the Wicked" for evidence.)
This latest one, "Gunshot," is my favorite. Partly because only Lykke Li can sing "I am siren, I am ivy / I'm no one, I'm nobody" and make it sound like perfection. But also, as another writer put it at Consequence of Sound, she "pairs emotionally-gripping lyrics with surprisingly bombastic musical accompaniment."
Give it a listen:
It seems that yet again, May is going to be the month all my dreams come true. Because along with a new Lykke Li album, Sharon Van Etten is also coming out with a new one, Are We There, and if that's not enough, Little Dragon is too, titled Nabuma Rubberband.
Is it too soon to predict that all 3 of these albums will make it to my top 10 list for 2014? Probably not. I mean:
As much as I'd like to go on and on about my girlfriends Sharon, Lykke, and Yukimi (and co.), we have to talk about PRINCE right now. He just released a new single, which starts off, "This could be the saddest story ever been told," and that's really not much of an exaggeration. I've never been so utterly delighted to fight off the urge to cry silently at my desk, which is what happened today at work when I first heard it and then proceeded to listen to it six times in a row.
Listen to "The Breakdown" here, because due to what must be some sort of Prince magic spell, the Internets is not letting me embed it.
So not only does Prince have a new album on the way, we can also get ready for a digitally remastered, deluxe 30th anniversary edition of Purple Rain. Are you listening to me right now? A new Prince album AND a remastered Purple Rain??? Dear Universe, what did I do to deserve these beautiful gifts?
Finally, here's a little something from a new artist I discovered today, Rachel Foxx. Lawwwd. Yes. I had no idea a mere one minute and 47 seconds could be so much.
"What the fuck she got on me?"
This latest one, "Gunshot," is my favorite. Partly because only Lykke Li can sing "I am siren, I am ivy / I'm no one, I'm nobody" and make it sound like perfection. But also, as another writer put it at Consequence of Sound, she "pairs emotionally-gripping lyrics with surprisingly bombastic musical accompaniment."
Give it a listen:
It seems that yet again, May is going to be the month all my dreams come true. Because along with a new Lykke Li album, Sharon Van Etten is also coming out with a new one, Are We There, and if that's not enough, Little Dragon is too, titled Nabuma Rubberband.
Is it too soon to predict that all 3 of these albums will make it to my top 10 list for 2014? Probably not. I mean:
As much as I'd like to go on and on about my girlfriends Sharon, Lykke, and Yukimi (and co.), we have to talk about PRINCE right now. He just released a new single, which starts off, "This could be the saddest story ever been told," and that's really not much of an exaggeration. I've never been so utterly delighted to fight off the urge to cry silently at my desk, which is what happened today at work when I first heard it and then proceeded to listen to it six times in a row.
Listen to "The Breakdown" here, because due to what must be some sort of Prince magic spell, the Internets is not letting me embed it.
So not only does Prince have a new album on the way, we can also get ready for a digitally remastered, deluxe 30th anniversary edition of Purple Rain. Are you listening to me right now? A new Prince album AND a remastered Purple Rain??? Dear Universe, what did I do to deserve these beautiful gifts?
Finally, here's a little something from a new artist I discovered today, Rachel Foxx. Lawwwd. Yes. I had no idea a mere one minute and 47 seconds could be so much.
"What the fuck she got on me?"
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
End of Year Mix Tapes Special Edition: My Top 25 Tracks of 2012
You guys! It's that magical time of year again! No, not Christmas, you geeks! It's that time where I unveil my favorite songs of the year. I know, I know, it's so much more exciting than what anyone else on the Interwebs might possibly be saying.
Now, last year, I went through my top 20 favorites. This year, I felt a special need to stretch that out to 25. But can you really blame me? It's been a hell of a year, music-wise:
Frank Ocean! Sharon Van Etten! Twin Shadow! CAT POWER! Jessie Ware!
And oh holy shit, none other than my beloved, my one true love:
So without further ado, and before I basically give away the entire list, here we go. In case you haven't picked up on it, there are a lot of lovely ladies on this bizness—and you are going to love every minute of it, I swear it. (And may I just add that my other wifey, Alicia Keys, recently released a fantastic new album, and it breaks my heart a little that I'm not including a track from there. But! Too late in the game to win me over this time. Sorry boo.)
Deep breath. Here we go:
25. HAIM — "Don't Save Me"
A recent, but nonetheless amazing, discovery I found on one of my favorite music blogs, disco naïveté, who called this track "yet another perfect slice of 2012 pop-but-not-pop." I quite agree. Also: "Baby, don't save me (if your love isn't strong)."
24. Lianne La Havas — "Lost & Found"
This beautiful young lady is one of the many, many examples of how the Brits were killing it this year with some soulful shit. On top of that, I spent one rainy Sunday in April listening to this over and over, finding solace in the fact that apparently I wasn't the only person who could feel all of the feelings she sings in this song. I'm not ashamed to say that I did. The good thing about feeling lost? Eventually you find yourself again. Sometimes that's with the help of beautiful music. Without further weeping:
23. Grizzly Bear — "Sleeping Ute"
Pitchfork called this first song from Grizzly Bear's latest album "an unusual explosion of energy," with Daniel Rossen's guitar a "knife slashing through thick sheets of percussion as he croons amidst the clamor." I called it, "ohholyfuckthisisamazing" and I think that is equally accurate ("and I can't help myself").
22. How to Dress Well — "& It Was U"
This. Beat. Over at NPR, Frannie Kelley wrote that this song is "irrepressible, the kind of song that makes you push your partner away on the dance floor so you have enough room to really move." Yes, exactly.
21. First Aid Kit — "To a Poet"
Right from those opening "ooh, ooh, oohs," this song gets me every time. But in particular, "Now I miss you more than I can take/and I will surely break"—but, "there's nothing more to it, I just get through it." It's a lovely, lovely song.
20. THEEsatisfaction — "QueenS"
Discovering THEEsatisfaction this past March was the perfect birthday present. And the takeaway from this track? "Whatever you do, don't funk with my groove." I won't, I swear I won't.
19. The Mountain Goats — "Until I Am Whole"
Because all two minutes and 49 seconds of this song just fucking kills me. Every single part. And that's all I can really say.
18. Kwes. — "bashful."
Back in March, my brother tweeted, "calling it: @alisoncomposes has a new crush." He was talking about Kwes. And boy, was he right. On top of the fact that I didn't stop listening to this song on repeat for about a month straight, well, dare I say that if I was stuck on an elevator with this Brit, I might be...bashful? Yeah, I went there.
17. Santigold — "Freak Like Me"
FREAK LIKE ME, FREAK LIKE ME, YOU A FREAK LIKE ME.
16. Kathleen Edwards — "House Full of Empty Rooms"
I knew Ms. Kathleen would get a spot on this list, but I had one hell of a time narrowing down my favorite from her latest album, Voyageur. Ultimately though, there was something about the way her voice (almost) cracks during these sad confessions, "And I'm far from perfect/I'm far from anything/but I swear when we started/I used to make you happy" that spoke to me the most. Because I think it takes a lot of guts to admit that "I don't know you, not the way that I thought I did," and she does it beautifully.
15. Kendrick Lamar (feat. Dr. Dre) — “The Recipe”
I don't even know where to begin with how much I've been loving Kendrick Lamar this year. Here, paired with Dr. Dre, he just doesn't get any better for me. Women, weed, and weather, amiright?
14. Azealia Banks — "212"
Of all of my many, many lady crushes this year, the one I have on Azealia is possibly the most serious. Is it because no one else has ever declared, "Ima ruin you, cunt" while bouncing around in a Mickey Mouse sweater? Or is it because this song is just thebestthingever? You tell me:
13. Cat Power — "Ruin"
Chan, darling. You came back to us with this magic, and for that we are all grateful.
12. Bear in Heaven — "The Reflection of You"
Because pretty much all I did in the month of May was read Bon Iver Erotic Stories, watch Lost, and listen to Bear in Heaven. True story. I got to see Bear in Heaven play at Lollapalooza this year, and even though I was sweating my face off, I loved every single minute of it. This is why:
11. Miguel — "Use Me"
Just when I thought no one was even going to get in Frank Ocean's league this year, Miguel had to release Kaleidoscope Dream. I think technically I'm supposed to say that "Adorn" is my favorite track from the album, but I'm not gonna lie. As I described this track the first day I heard it: This song is the sex. I'll leave you with that.
10. The xx — "Chained"
Back in August, this song felt like perfection to me. It's no longer quite as poignant, but I'll be damned if it still isn't almost perfect. It's everything I love about The xx. "It's not a secret you should keep."
9. Twin Shadow — "Five Seconds"
BE STILL MY HEART.
8. Yeasayer — "Longevity"
Ian Cohen reviewed Yeasayer's new album, Fragrant World, giving it a measly 5.4 on the ever-important Pitchfork scale, and wrote of this song in particular (with what I can only assume was a self-satisfied sneer) that "the only real friction is that of a square peg plugging into a round hole." I'd just like to say: Whatever, Ian. What the fuck ever. Decide for yourself, guys:
7. Bat for Lashes — "All Your Gold"
Natasha Khan has completely stolen my heart with The Haunted Man (and the fact that I discovered she's a Roald Dahl devotee!). With this song, she makes me feel wistful and defiant and sad and hopeful all at once. And as if it wasn't already devastating enough, she had to go on and dance around on the beach wearing a black-and-white bodysuit.
6. Dirty Projectors — "Gun Has No Trigger"
Because "you'd see a million colors if you really looked." I love this song with every ounce of my being, and don't you dare tell me I'm being dramatic.
5. Jessie Ware — "Sweet Talk"
You wouldn't believe me if I told you just how much I love this song, and Jessie Ware in general. Because: I LOVE HER. This song is exactly what I want from a pop/r&b song. Then there's this video, which is just the cuteness. Yes, the cuteness. It's the right word, trust me:
4. Alabama Shakes — "I Found You"
Brittany Howard might as well be singing about my feelings for this band with this song. Bless you, Alabama Shakes, I finally found you! Well, in reality, I found them last year, when "Hold On" made it to my 2011 best of list. Whatever. Mere details. The point is, we all found the Alabama Shakes this year, and thank Jesus for it. This song makes me want to shake my fist and jump around and weep and scream. All in love, of course.
3. Frank Ocean — "Pyramids"
After falling head over heels for Frank Ocean last year, thanks to Nostalgia, Ultra (and more specifically, "Novacane"), he then decided to go and make channel ORANGE, which was one of the highlights of my year. When I first heard this song, after I got over the beautiful mind fuck that happens over the course of 9 minutes and 53 seconds, I shook my head in amazement and played it again. And again. And again. "Set the cheetahs on the loose."
2. Sharon Van Etten — "Give Out"
You know when I write a damn poem about a song, it's pretty likely it'll end up on this list. (See last year's list for your proof.) The night before I saw Sharon Van Etten's show at Lincoln Hall, I wrote one, largely inspired by the song "Give Out." To reveal how many times I have listened to this song since February would only serve to embarrass me and make you nervous, so I won't. You can figure it all out with the damn poem, probably.
1. Fiona Apple — "Anything We Want"
Hi, have we met? This should really be no surprise at all. FIONA! (You can read all the feelings I feel about Fiona in this previous post.) This July, all my dreams came true when I got to see Fiona Apple perform at the Chicago Theatre. Of all the amazing songs on her new album, this one kills me the most, particularly when I saw her perform it. Oh, holy shit. When she sang, "I looked like a neon zebra shaking rain off her stripes," shaking her whole body, I think the entire crowd died a little. There's something about the way Fiona says, "I wanted you to kiss me when we find some time alone" that is perfection. So I'll leave you all with this, my favorite song of the year. And guys? Just remember: "Look around, it's happening, it's happening, it's happening now."
Now, last year, I went through my top 20 favorites. This year, I felt a special need to stretch that out to 25. But can you really blame me? It's been a hell of a year, music-wise:
Frank Ocean! Sharon Van Etten! Twin Shadow! CAT POWER! Jessie Ware!
And oh holy shit, none other than my beloved, my one true love:
FIONA. APPLE.
So without further ado, and before I basically give away the entire list, here we go. In case you haven't picked up on it, there are a lot of lovely ladies on this bizness—and you are going to love every minute of it, I swear it. (And may I just add that my other wifey, Alicia Keys, recently released a fantastic new album, and it breaks my heart a little that I'm not including a track from there. But! Too late in the game to win me over this time. Sorry boo.)
Deep breath. Here we go:
25. HAIM — "Don't Save Me"
A recent, but nonetheless amazing, discovery I found on one of my favorite music blogs, disco naïveté, who called this track "yet another perfect slice of 2012 pop-but-not-pop." I quite agree. Also: "Baby, don't save me (if your love isn't strong)."
24. Lianne La Havas — "Lost & Found"
This beautiful young lady is one of the many, many examples of how the Brits were killing it this year with some soulful shit. On top of that, I spent one rainy Sunday in April listening to this over and over, finding solace in the fact that apparently I wasn't the only person who could feel all of the feelings she sings in this song. I'm not ashamed to say that I did. The good thing about feeling lost? Eventually you find yourself again. Sometimes that's with the help of beautiful music. Without further weeping:
23. Grizzly Bear — "Sleeping Ute"
Pitchfork called this first song from Grizzly Bear's latest album "an unusual explosion of energy," with Daniel Rossen's guitar a "knife slashing through thick sheets of percussion as he croons amidst the clamor." I called it, "ohholyfuckthisisamazing" and I think that is equally accurate ("and I can't help myself").
22. How to Dress Well — "& It Was U"
This. Beat. Over at NPR, Frannie Kelley wrote that this song is "irrepressible, the kind of song that makes you push your partner away on the dance floor so you have enough room to really move." Yes, exactly.
21. First Aid Kit — "To a Poet"
Right from those opening "ooh, ooh, oohs," this song gets me every time. But in particular, "Now I miss you more than I can take/and I will surely break"—but, "there's nothing more to it, I just get through it." It's a lovely, lovely song.
20. THEEsatisfaction — "QueenS"
Discovering THEEsatisfaction this past March was the perfect birthday present. And the takeaway from this track? "Whatever you do, don't funk with my groove." I won't, I swear I won't.
19. The Mountain Goats — "Until I Am Whole"
Because all two minutes and 49 seconds of this song just fucking kills me. Every single part. And that's all I can really say.
18. Kwes. — "bashful."
Back in March, my brother tweeted, "calling it: @alisoncomposes has a new crush." He was talking about Kwes. And boy, was he right. On top of the fact that I didn't stop listening to this song on repeat for about a month straight, well, dare I say that if I was stuck on an elevator with this Brit, I might be...bashful? Yeah, I went there.
17. Santigold — "Freak Like Me"
FREAK LIKE ME, FREAK LIKE ME, YOU A FREAK LIKE ME.
16. Kathleen Edwards — "House Full of Empty Rooms"
I knew Ms. Kathleen would get a spot on this list, but I had one hell of a time narrowing down my favorite from her latest album, Voyageur. Ultimately though, there was something about the way her voice (almost) cracks during these sad confessions, "And I'm far from perfect/I'm far from anything/but I swear when we started/I used to make you happy" that spoke to me the most. Because I think it takes a lot of guts to admit that "I don't know you, not the way that I thought I did," and she does it beautifully.
15. Kendrick Lamar (feat. Dr. Dre) — “The Recipe”
I don't even know where to begin with how much I've been loving Kendrick Lamar this year. Here, paired with Dr. Dre, he just doesn't get any better for me. Women, weed, and weather, amiright?
14. Azealia Banks — "212"
Of all of my many, many lady crushes this year, the one I have on Azealia is possibly the most serious. Is it because no one else has ever declared, "Ima ruin you, cunt" while bouncing around in a Mickey Mouse sweater? Or is it because this song is just thebestthingever? You tell me:
13. Cat Power — "Ruin"
Chan, darling. You came back to us with this magic, and for that we are all grateful.
12. Bear in Heaven — "The Reflection of You"
Because pretty much all I did in the month of May was read Bon Iver Erotic Stories, watch Lost, and listen to Bear in Heaven. True story. I got to see Bear in Heaven play at Lollapalooza this year, and even though I was sweating my face off, I loved every single minute of it. This is why:
11. Miguel — "Use Me"
Just when I thought no one was even going to get in Frank Ocean's league this year, Miguel had to release Kaleidoscope Dream. I think technically I'm supposed to say that "Adorn" is my favorite track from the album, but I'm not gonna lie. As I described this track the first day I heard it: This song is the sex. I'll leave you with that.
10. The xx — "Chained"
Back in August, this song felt like perfection to me. It's no longer quite as poignant, but I'll be damned if it still isn't almost perfect. It's everything I love about The xx. "It's not a secret you should keep."
9. Twin Shadow — "Five Seconds"
BE STILL MY HEART.
8. Yeasayer — "Longevity"
Ian Cohen reviewed Yeasayer's new album, Fragrant World, giving it a measly 5.4 on the ever-important Pitchfork scale, and wrote of this song in particular (with what I can only assume was a self-satisfied sneer) that "the only real friction is that of a square peg plugging into a round hole." I'd just like to say: Whatever, Ian. What the fuck ever. Decide for yourself, guys:
7. Bat for Lashes — "All Your Gold"
Natasha Khan has completely stolen my heart with The Haunted Man (and the fact that I discovered she's a Roald Dahl devotee!). With this song, she makes me feel wistful and defiant and sad and hopeful all at once. And as if it wasn't already devastating enough, she had to go on and dance around on the beach wearing a black-and-white bodysuit.
6. Dirty Projectors — "Gun Has No Trigger"
Because "you'd see a million colors if you really looked." I love this song with every ounce of my being, and don't you dare tell me I'm being dramatic.
5. Jessie Ware — "Sweet Talk"
You wouldn't believe me if I told you just how much I love this song, and Jessie Ware in general. Because: I LOVE HER. This song is exactly what I want from a pop/r&b song. Then there's this video, which is just the cuteness. Yes, the cuteness. It's the right word, trust me:
4. Alabama Shakes — "I Found You"
Brittany Howard might as well be singing about my feelings for this band with this song. Bless you, Alabama Shakes, I finally found you! Well, in reality, I found them last year, when "Hold On" made it to my 2011 best of list. Whatever. Mere details. The point is, we all found the Alabama Shakes this year, and thank Jesus for it. This song makes me want to shake my fist and jump around and weep and scream. All in love, of course.
3. Frank Ocean — "Pyramids"
After falling head over heels for Frank Ocean last year, thanks to Nostalgia, Ultra (and more specifically, "Novacane"), he then decided to go and make channel ORANGE, which was one of the highlights of my year. When I first heard this song, after I got over the beautiful mind fuck that happens over the course of 9 minutes and 53 seconds, I shook my head in amazement and played it again. And again. And again. "Set the cheetahs on the loose."
2. Sharon Van Etten — "Give Out"
You know when I write a damn poem about a song, it's pretty likely it'll end up on this list. (See last year's list for your proof.) The night before I saw Sharon Van Etten's show at Lincoln Hall, I wrote one, largely inspired by the song "Give Out." To reveal how many times I have listened to this song since February would only serve to embarrass me and make you nervous, so I won't. You can figure it all out with the damn poem, probably.
1. Fiona Apple — "Anything We Want"
Hi, have we met? This should really be no surprise at all. FIONA! (You can read all the feelings I feel about Fiona in this previous post.) This July, all my dreams came true when I got to see Fiona Apple perform at the Chicago Theatre. Of all the amazing songs on her new album, this one kills me the most, particularly when I saw her perform it. Oh, holy shit. When she sang, "I looked like a neon zebra shaking rain off her stripes," shaking her whole body, I think the entire crowd died a little. There's something about the way Fiona says, "I wanted you to kiss me when we find some time alone" that is perfection. So I'll leave you all with this, my favorite song of the year. And guys? Just remember: "Look around, it's happening, it's happening, it's happening now."
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
The Size of the Past: An Ode to Sharon Van Etten (And Me)
I used to write these poems,
Sometimes.
They weren’t good,
Exactly.
Really, I know that they were
Nothing that made much
Sense at all.
I’d mix in some words
In between a couple videos
Or pictures
And to me,
It was beautiful.
I swear, it made perfect sense
To me,
At least.
Almost no one would
Remark about these—
In fact, one friend said,
(and I can’t be mad at the honesty):
“I don’t really get it;
I just like your stories
So much more.”
That’s fine,
I guess.
The thing is,
This was a story
Just the same,
And sometimes it’s easier
This way
Like, to me,
It seems ridiculous
The way Layla won’t just
Hop on the bed:
Instead,
She sniffs,
And sniffs,
And shuffles up to it,
Until, satisfied,
She makes a giant leap
And even then, she sniffs me,
My book, my arm,
Like she’s never seen me before.
Then she kneads her paws,
Slowly, steadily
Until she’s satisfied,
and she'll curl up in my arms,
her paw on my hand.
It’s totally ridiculous,
But it’s just her way.
I wrote this essay
About my ex-best friend
And how I cut her out
Of my life
But I was angry with it,
Dissatisfied
I kept sniffing at it,
Not sure what to do.
Found all these pictures
To go with the words,
But they didn’t make sense
Like this won’t make sense.
Because it was about her
and about something else
entirely
("It wasn't about me, so I didn't care,"
he said, without a hint of irony.)
You get that, right?
Tell me you get it.
The thing is,
I don't expect anyone to get it, really,
other than me,
And I know this time
you won't care to stop me
and say anything;
in fact, you probably won't read it at all.
That's fair; I get it,
I swear, I do.
But I’d be lying if I said
I didn’t secretly hope
You’d look at me
And say:
“I get it; I always got it”
Because while I never meant to linger
I never meant those looks
Sometimes I can help it
And sometimes I can’t help but not.
It’s totally ridiculous,
But it’s just my way.
Tomorrow I’m going to see
Sharon Van Etten sing
I already know the slightly
Mournful way I’ll feel
If and when she sings
“Give Out”
cause it’s just like
when you don’t look at me
and all I'm doing is looking (and you know it) or you do look at me but I can’t bear to look up (and you know it)
“There was your breath on the back of my neck/ The only one holding/ The only one I had felt In years”
When I looked up from the table,
You were devastating.
I remember the way I watched you
That time,
I was late (I'm always late)
From across the street
I waited for the light to change
You were there,
Just waiting.
It scared the shit out of me.
Like how it scares me that you get me
So completely
Yet don’t,
Not at all.
You’re right, you know?
But still: You’re wrong, you’re so wrong.
As long as I think that, then maybe I can still be right.
Sometimes.
They weren’t good,
Exactly.
Really, I know that they were
Nothing that made much
Sense at all.
I’d mix in some words
In between a couple videos
Or pictures
And to me,
It was beautiful.
I swear, it made perfect sense
To me,
At least.
Almost no one would
Remark about these—
In fact, one friend said,
(and I can’t be mad at the honesty):
“I don’t really get it;
I just like your stories
So much more.”
That’s fine,
I guess.
The thing is,
This was a story
Just the same,
And sometimes it’s easier
This way
Like, to me,
It seems ridiculous
The way Layla won’t just
Hop on the bed:
Instead,
She sniffs,
And sniffs,
And shuffles up to it,
Until, satisfied,
She makes a giant leap
And even then, she sniffs me,
My book, my arm,
Like she’s never seen me before.
Then she kneads her paws,
Slowly, steadily
Until she’s satisfied,
and she'll curl up in my arms,
her paw on my hand.
It’s totally ridiculous,
But it’s just her way.
I wrote this essay
About my ex-best friend
And how I cut her out
Of my life
But I was angry with it,
Dissatisfied
I kept sniffing at it,
Not sure what to do.
Found all these pictures
To go with the words,
But they didn’t make sense
Like this won’t make sense.
Because it was about her
and about something else
entirely
("It wasn't about me, so I didn't care,"
he said, without a hint of irony.)
You get that, right?
Tell me you get it.
The thing is,
I don't expect anyone to get it, really,
other than me,
And I know this time
you won't care to stop me
and say anything;
in fact, you probably won't read it at all.
That's fair; I get it,
I swear, I do.
But I’d be lying if I said
I didn’t secretly hope
You’d look at me
And say:
“I get it; I always got it”
Because while I never meant to linger
I never meant those looks
Sometimes I can help it
And sometimes I can’t help but not.
It’s totally ridiculous,
But it’s just my way.
I already know the slightly
Mournful way I’ll feel
If and when she sings
“Give Out”
cause it’s just like
when you don’t look at me
and all I'm doing is looking (and you know it) or you do look at me but I can’t bear to look up (and you know it)
“There was your breath on the back of my neck/ The only one holding/ The only one I had felt In years”
When I looked up from the table,
You were devastating.
I remember the way I watched you
That time,
I was late (I'm always late)
From across the street
I waited for the light to change
You were there,
Just waiting.
It scared the shit out of me.
Like how it scares me that you get me
So completely
Yet don’t,
Not at all.
You’re right, you know?
But still: You’re wrong, you’re so wrong.
As long as I think that, then maybe I can still be right.
Monday, January 30, 2012
Monday Mix Tapes: The Ambiguity of It All (Maybe, Perhaps?)
Some songs I've been listening to, and loving. Maybe they have a common theme (in my mind)? Maybe?
In this first video, Sharon Van Etten talks about her song, "It's Not Like," saying it's about "being happy, and being sad; cliché human emotions that everybody feels about love; frustration and excitement, the ambiguity of it all" and I really love it. I listened to all of her albums at work today for the first time before I listened to her new album that's streaming on NPR. Her new album is called "Tramp," and I love that, too. The title and the content.
Without further ado, here she is talking about, and singing, "It's Not Like":
I also recently spent a day listening to a lot of Leonard Cohen after listening to his newest album, "Old Ideas," on (surprise!) NPR. It's fantastic, and I listened to it three times in a row.
But you might know this track a little better. I just love every damn lyric in this song, from "I used to think I was some kind of gypsy boy" to "You held on to me like I was a crucifix" to "I'm cold as a new razor blade/you left when I told you I was curious/I never said that I was brave" ... but that's kind of just Leonard Cohen for you, isn't it? Okay, I'll shut up now.
Just listen:
When I was home a couple weeks ago, I snagged a copy of my dad's 92.3 WTTS Collector's Edition, which happened to include a live recording of Ray LaMontagne singing "For the Summer" at The Lawn at White River State Park in Indianapolis—the same performance I saw with my family this summer. When I listen to it, I remember exactly how I felt that night at the show. And how I felt moving back home for the summer (well, a little longer than just the summer) as an adult two years ago.
Here's Ray singing "For the Summer":
"The ambiguity of it all," right? Maybe it's not always good, but it doesn't have to be bad, either, I don't think. After all, like Ray sings,
In this first video, Sharon Van Etten talks about her song, "It's Not Like," saying it's about "being happy, and being sad; cliché human emotions that everybody feels about love; frustration and excitement, the ambiguity of it all" and I really love it. I listened to all of her albums at work today for the first time before I listened to her new album that's streaming on NPR. Her new album is called "Tramp," and I love that, too. The title and the content.
Without further ado, here she is talking about, and singing, "It's Not Like":
I also recently spent a day listening to a lot of Leonard Cohen after listening to his newest album, "Old Ideas," on (surprise!) NPR. It's fantastic, and I listened to it three times in a row.
But you might know this track a little better. I just love every damn lyric in this song, from "I used to think I was some kind of gypsy boy" to "You held on to me like I was a crucifix" to "I'm cold as a new razor blade/you left when I told you I was curious/I never said that I was brave" ... but that's kind of just Leonard Cohen for you, isn't it? Okay, I'll shut up now.
Just listen:
When I was home a couple weeks ago, I snagged a copy of my dad's 92.3 WTTS Collector's Edition, which happened to include a live recording of Ray LaMontagne singing "For the Summer" at The Lawn at White River State Park in Indianapolis—the same performance I saw with my family this summer. When I listen to it, I remember exactly how I felt that night at the show. And how I felt moving back home for the summer (well, a little longer than just the summer) as an adult two years ago.
Here's Ray singing "For the Summer":
"The ambiguity of it all," right? Maybe it's not always good, but it doesn't have to be bad, either, I don't think. After all, like Ray sings,
Through the years I have learned / Some things worth the tellin' / And you'd be right in guessin'/ that each and every lesson they were hard wonNow, so long. "It's time that we began to laugh and cry and cry and laugh about it all again."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)