Friday, May 29, 2009


I have a problem. I cannot wake up in the morning. Ever. This morning, I "snoozed" for an hour. AN HOUR! Earlier this week, I tried to combat this problem by setting the alarm on the buzzer setting instead of radio, thinking the mind-numbing BLEEPBLEEPBLEEEP sounds would snap me out of my snooze addiction and increasingly bizarre dreams about waiting tables.

Wrong. I slept through it.

Something is wrong with me.

I've come up with a couple of solutions:

  1. I hire a large man to throw me out of my bed every morning. If that large man would also make me breakfast and wash my dishes, that would be ideal.
  2. I train Layla and Mufasa to perform a song and dance every morning. You know, like in Cinderella.
Either way, something has to happen. I wake up every morning pissed at myself and never have time to eat. It's really not good for my mental health.

Help. Me.


  1. I have your solution!! (Unless, of course, Layla and da Moof actually DO sing and dance for you in the morning, in which case you MUST videotape it and send it to me for hours of constant giggling.)

    But seriously, I had this problem in high school and it got me into A LOT of trouble. So, probably the only worthwhile advice I received from He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named (*cough* Paul *cough*) was that I should place my alarm clock somewhere far away, such as my dresser, so that when it goes off, I'm FORCED to get out of bed to turn it off. That way, on the walk back to the bed, your brain has officially started moving and you will think, 'Oh yeah...I can't go back to bed!' I did that for awhile and now I hardly ever snooze. I mean, I will occasionally snooze for like 5-10 minutes, but that's it. Brandon will snooze his phone for like AN HOUR and piss me off to the point where I'm wide awake and literally pushing his ass out of bed!

    So, set that baby on the loudest setting and put it far away from you! And yeah, I would stick to the beeping noise, because the radio doesn't wake many people up. You could also set 2 alarms, such as a clock and your phone. Hearing both of them will annoy you so much that you will get out of bed and probably throw one of them across the room, but even so...IT WORKED! : )

    Hope this helps!

  2. Abby, I took your advice and my snooze time was only about 15 minutes today. Tomorrow, I hope it's zero.

    thanks, dahhling!

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