Modern Family Halloween

If you don't find the Halloween episode of "Modern Family" funny, we should probably not be friends.

The Grand Pumpkin's Revenge

Seeing as how Rene spent all evening carving a pretty badass pumpkin, I figured it was about time I got in the Halloween spirit as well, the only way I know how:

The Simpsons.

The Grand Pumpkin is real! (And he's a racist.)

Milhouse: "Actually, it's made FROM pumpkins."

Grand Pumpkin: "WHAAAAAAAAT? REVENGE!"

"You ROAST the unborn?!"

I Put a Spell on You! Happy Halloween!

Ever since my brother and I retired our haunted trail/haunted garage parties back in junior high, I haven't been too big on Halloween, I will admit. It's just not my thing (with the exception of last year, clearly). In fact, this year I traded shifts at work in an effort to avoid having to wear a costume while I waited tables.

Of course, that backfired. Wednesday we were informed we would be expected to be in costume Friday night as well. Luckily my lifesaver Beth loaned me her black beret, I tied a red scarf around my neck, put on a black and white shirt, et, voila! Je suis francais. OR, a pirate, which is what one of our creepy regulars called me. I almost wish I had left him believing that, because when I told him I was a french bohemian, he began following me around, calling me mademoiselle and trying to kiss my hand.

The only highlight of last night was when a chubby guy in a monkey costume joined one of my tables, asked me for Jack on the rocks and said, "Is that a banana in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"

Before I could think of a witty reply, monkey boy reached in his pocket, pulled out a banana, and slammed it on the table.

"MINE'S A BANANA!"

When I came back to the table with his whiskey, he grinned and said, "You really are a cute lil' artist!"

I hope he washed down the banana with his Jack Daniels.

I'll leave you with some of my Halloween favorites:





"You didn't tell me you were gonna kill it!"





Happy Halloween, kiddos! Be safe. Eat candy. Drink pumpkin ale. Watch Hocus Pocus.

Love,
The Blogger formerly known as Thing 2